Up in cold, frigid, CAnada, where men and women slept huddled together in igloos and savagely cooked seal meat to stay alive, there once lived a giant pussy cat. His name was Stephen Harper, but he was so much of a special pussy cat that people endowed him with the nickname “Big Puss”. One day, Big Puss decided he wanted to run for Prime Minister of all the pussy cats in Canada. He came across during elections as the “ordinary” smiling Canadian pussy cat, without any hidden agendas whatsoever. As Prime Minister, Big Puss, vowed to keep government “Transparent”, and in the process chastised the previous government for its corruption. In good Canadian haste, we decided that a minority government with Big Puss as leader was the next best, or perhaps the next worst proposition.

Immediately upon his election, Big Puss started to prove some of his skeptics right, by outing himself as neo-con douchebag numero uno! Following up on his election promises, he decided that government is best “held accountable” by stealing spineless idiots from opposition parties, who are willing to abandon all responsibilities to the constituency which elected them and jump across party lines, to sit on the cabinet(see David Emmerson - minister of international trade/douchebag in training). Up next, a dose of neo-conservative style foreign affairs, starring Big Puss’s croonie, Peter Mackay (Minister of Foreign Affairs/douchebag numero deux). A western government isnt a government unless they make a stance on the long standing middle east conflict. After, certain painstaking internal “deliberation” they come to the conclusion that punishing the Palestinians in their attempt to exercise “democracy” was the best solution! Congralutions on that one guys, I ‘ll be sure to send you a gift certicate to the beer store, incase Alfred Nobel doesn’t awake from his grave to personally grant you the prize, for the effort.

The story of Big Puss, to be continued………….up next, SoftWood lumber, “Free trade” etc.

My fiance attended a bridal show about a month back, and she recently got a call from “Royal Prestige”, saying that we’d won a free trip, and all we had to do was go to a little cookware show to redeem our prize.

You may have seen Royal Prestige showcased on the Price is Right, or on other game shows. It’s a very exclusive product, sold only to select groups, like, um, game show contestants and… engaged couples.

We made a deal to not buy anything, take our free trip coupon, and go home.

But the sales pitch was good. Really good. They cooked us up some samples of chicken and veggies in their cookware and it was tasty.
I also had a fantastic time learning about how healthy it was to cook with Royal Prestige cookware, and how unhealthy or unsafe it was to cook with nearly anything else, ie: Teflon, aluminium, steel, etc. Much of what they said was true, or half-true (half-lie), especially when it came to Teflon, which is a shit product that probably kills more people than we know.

The salesperson was smooth, but he tended to ask really obvious questions to get the “crowd” (5 engaged couples) involved. For example, he would ask, “Anybody here ever burn their food?” And “Anybody here ever have dessert?” And I was incredulous as the chick next to me enthusiastically responded “Mm-hmm!”
Yeah, no shit. Everybody at some point in their lives has had dessert.

The pot sets were priced anywhere between $2300 and $4000. And if you bought one of them, they threw in other sets for free, and included tropical cruises and trips to all-inclusive resorts.

When the sales pitch was over I went to ask the sales person a question, and our conversation began with my asking whether the product was available in stores (which it wasn’t), and ended up going on like this:

Me – “So this is my understanding of the situation: You sell a product that cooks food in a way that is healthier, and I know it’s true that healthy eating can change your life, and it’s good for kids, and all that good stuff…”

Him – (Speaking to my fiance) “This is a smart guy”.

Me – “And other cooking products, as you say, are bad for your health because you’re either cooking with materials that themselves cause cancer or heart disease, or you have to use oils and things that are full of fat and bad for your health”.

Him – (Attempting to flatter me by mumbling something about my intelligence again)

Me – “So I guess my question is: Since your company knows all of this, wouldn’t it make more sense to make the product accessible and affordable by selling it in stores, so the public can stop buying things that give them cancer and heart disease?”

[*note – To his credit, he put up a good defence, but it was all in salesmanese, so it sounded to me like what it might sound like if you strangled a loon.]

Him – “Well, we do sell it through distributors, which gives us more one-on-one contact with our customers, and allows us to give demonstrations and share expert advice.”

Me – “But if people are dying of cancer and heart disease it would be socially irresponsible for a company to hold back a superior product that will benefit people.”

Him – “Well, we just feel that it’s better to have experts selling the product, and as you can see it’s a fine product. But at this price, it tends to throw people off, so we like to have that one-on-one contact. And, you know, putting our product in a store like Zellers would demean the product.”

Me – “Demeaning the product is a small price to pay for saving people’s lives”.

And at this point I don’t know where the conversation went because I was too busy congratulating myself for slam-dunking that fool.

I couldn’t believe he thought a product could be “demeaned”. Only a human being can be “demeaned”, and they’re especially demeaned when you place their lives below the value of a pot set.

Later on, while the girl and I were still perusing the products, she exclaimed “For the price of one of these pot sets, you can feed a village in Africa for months!”
The salesperson overheard her.

It wasn’t long before the salesperson gathered the two of us up, and brought us into another room.

He began, “So, are you interested in any of our packages?”

We gave him a frank “No.”

“Well then…” He handed us our free three day trip, and under the supervision of one of his homely lady helpers, hustled us out the side door of the convention hall.

The fiancé and I looked at each other for a second, and then realized…We’d been kicked out!

Our expulsion from the premises was a very deliberate thing. The sales pitch / performance was so well honed it couldn’t have been otherwise. They probably feared we’d start talking to the other couples, and spread our pinko-commie views until they were overflowing in the room; Overflowing much the same way we were told our miscellaneous aluminium, Teflon, and steel pots and pans, in our “all-Canadian” pot sets, overflow in our cupboards like a vermin in our kitchen.

It took the salesperson two minutes to clear us from that convention hall, and yet, when we waited outside for an extra ten to fifteen minutes, not one other couple came out of the building. They were all inside spending thousands of dollars (minus the idiot-stick girl who answered the obvious questions, whom we saw running out to her car, probably to get her credit card), patsies of a company that preys on one of the most vulnerable demographics – engaged couples. As it is, engaged couples are dropping thousands of dollars at a time for a wedding, so what’s another two grand for a bunch of fucking pots that conveniently come with a honeymoon, right?

Buy some steel pots. Royal Prestige sucks.

Links detailing their misdeeds and scandals:

Misdeed #1

Misdeed #2

Misdeed #3

Will Ollanta Humala be elected as the Peruvian president today?
If so Humala will join the Chavez/Morales club of left wing president in South America and it will be a blow to the US.

Hopefully this will make it easier for Nicaragua and Mexico to follow and join the club in a close future.
Nicaragua joining the club means the return of Ortega. The same Ortega who was thrown out because of Iran-Contra (with Bush sr leading an important role) will be back under the present Bush government.

The year of 2006 will be an interesting year with lots more to come…

“Some countries globalise, and others are globalised, the Third World belongs in the latter category.”
- Ollanta Humala

Waaaahahahahaha, check out this “translation” of the song.

“I’m driving a car with fancy wheels and you can see my mouth jewelry”

Nelly’s new song is proof of the rot of humanity. We don’t need to read about capitalism, look at corporate scandals, or study our governments. We just need to look at this:

These are “grillz”. They’ve been more popular since Nelly’s song, “Grillz”, which talks about how cool it is to have grillz. They cost up to thousands of dollars a set and are made of diamonds, gold, platinum, copper, etc.

In some countries people are walking 10 km to fetch dirty drinking water… But it’s ok, because in Greater America we can afford put diamonds and gold in our teeth.

I bought my set last week, and I must say, I’m quite happy with the outcome. I didn’t think there would be an outcome, but you’d be surprised. First, I now have dental jewelry, and people look at it. If they look at it in a positive way, this enhances my life. For example, yesterday somebody told me they were digging my grillz, so I went home, looked at my face in the mirror and masturbated.

Also, everytime I see Nelly’s song on TV I look around at my friends and say “Hey’ I’ve got those”. Sometimes I have no friends around when the video plays, so I just say it to myself and then smile throughout the whole song, thinking Nelly would be proud if he saw my grillz.

The great thing about my set of grillz in particular, is that the more I wear them, the more gold-ish coloured they get. My friends say this is because there’s a bunch of carrot cake stuck in my grillz, but I’m just like, “whatever”.

In fact, I was so happy with my first set, I now have a collection:

And the chicks really dig it when we go on a dinner date, and before we start eating I take out my grillz and just put them on a napkin on the table.

Here’s a link to the video, and here are the lyrics to my new favourite song:

Grillz - Nelly

go rob my jewelry store and tell em make me a grill
my top ones diamond and da bottom rows gold

Yo we about to start an epidemic wit dis one
Ya’ll know what dis is…So So Def

Got 30 down at the bottom, 30 more at the top
only invisible set and little ice cube blocks
If I could call it a drink, call it a smile on da rocks
If I could call out a price, lets say I call out a lot
I got like platinum and white golds, traditional gold
I’m changin grillz everyday, like Jay change clothes,
I might be grilled out nicely (oh) In my white tee (oh),
on South Beach (oh) in my wife beater
V V and studded you can tell when they cut it
ya see my grandmama hate it, but my lil mama love it
cuz when I…

Open up ya mouth, ya grill gleamin (say what)
eyes stay low from da cheifin’

I got a grill I call penny candy you know
what that mean, it look like Now n Laters, gum drops, jelly beans
I wouldn’t leave it for nothin only a crazy man would
so if you catch me in yo city, somewhere out in ya hood just say

Smile fo me daddy
(What you lookin at)
Let me see ya grill
(Let cha see my what)
Ya, ya grill ya, ya, ya grill
(Rob da jewelry store and tell em make me a grill)
she said
Smile for me daddy
(What you lookin at)
I want to see your grill
(You wanna see my what)
Ya, ya grill ya, ya, ya grill
(had a whole top diamond and da bottom rows gold)

[Paul Wall]
What it do baby
Its da ice man paul wall
I got my mouth lookin somethin like a disco ball
I got da diamonds and da ice all hand set
I might cause a cold front if i take a deep breath
My teeth gleaming like im chewin on aluminum foil
Smilin showin off my diamonds sippin on some Potin Oil I put my money where my mouth is and bought a grill
20 karats 30 stacks let em know im so fo real
My motivation is the 30 pointers V VS the furniture my mouth
piece simply symbolize success
I got da wrist wear and neck wear dats captivatin
But its my smile dat got these on-lookers spectatin
My mouth piece simply certified a total package
Open up my mouth and you see mo karats than a salad
My teeth are mind blowin givin everybody chillz
Call me George Foreman cuz im sellin everybody grillz

[Chorus]
Smile fo me daddy
(What you lookin at)
Let me see ya grill
(Let cha see my what)
Ya, ya grill ya, ya, ya grill
(Rob da jewelry store and tell em make me a grill)
Smile fo me daddy
(What you lookin at)
I want to see your grill
(You wanna see my what)
Ya, ya grill ya, ya, ya grill
(Had a whole top diamond and da bottom rows gold)

[Gipp]
Gipp got dem yellows, got dem purples, got dem reds
Lights gon hit it and make you woozie in ya head
You can catch me in my 2 short drop
Mouth got colors like a fruit loop box

[Ali]
Dis what it do in da Lou
Ice grill country grammar
Where da hustlas move bricks
and da gangsta’s bang hamma’s
Where i got em you can spot em
On da top in da bottom
Gotta bill in my mouth like im Hillary Rodham

[Gipp]
I ain’t dissin no body but lets bring it to da lite(cause)
Gipp was da first wit my mouth bright white
Yeah deez hos can’t focus cuz they eyesight blurry
Tippin on some 4’s you can see my mouth jewelry

[Ali]
I got fo different sets its a fabolous thang
1 white, 1 yellow, like Fabolous chains
and the other set’s the same, got my name in the mold

(Had a whole top diamond and da bottom rows gold)

[Chorus]

[Woman]
Boy how’d you get your grill that way and
How much did you pay
Every time i see you
Tha first thing im gon say hey…..

[Chorus]

After making the news for being part of the Axis of Evil, Iran is now making the news for their nuclear programe.
Iran has been accused by the international community, mainly the US, UK and Israel to resume its nuclear fuel enrichment operations in order to develop a nuclear bomb.
Under the Non-Proliferation Treaty Iran has every right to enrich Uranium for civilian use.
The IAEA after inspection of Iran’s nuclear facilities has come out with no evidences of Iran possessing a nuclear weapons program.
Brazil has started recently to enrich Uranium and has been largely unoticed, ignored.
Even more disturbing is the recent deal that the US has made with India to provide the later one with US civilian nuclear technology.
Not to mention Isreal’s nuclear weapons program revealed by Mordechai Vanunu to the British press in 1986.

Iran is not doing anything illegal by enriching Uranium and is in no way contradicting NTP.
Even more interesting is the fatwa issued by Ayatollah Ali Khamenei forbidding the use, production of nuclear weapons (Vienna Aug 9. 2005):

“Madam chair, colleagues,
“We meet when the world is remembering the atomic bombings of the civilians in Hiroshima (Aug 6) and Nagasaki (Aug 9) sixty years ago.

The savagery of the attack, the human suffering it caused, the scale of the civilian loss of life turning individuals, old and young, into ashes in a split second, and maiming indefinitely those who survived should never be removed from our memory. It is the most absurd manifestation of irony that the single state who caused this single nuclear catastrophe in a twin attack on our earth now has assumed the role of the prime preacher in the nuclear field while ever expanding its nuclear weapons capability.

“We as members of the Non-Aligned Movement (NAM) are proud to underline that none of the NPT members of the NAM rely on nuclear weapons in any way for their security. That is not the case of many other states, who either possess nuclear weapons or are member of nuclear-armed alliances and it is such states that have taken on the self-assigned role of denying Iran its legal rights under the NPT to access the peaceful uses of nuclear technology in conformity with the treaty’s non-proliferation obligations.

“Indeed, it is not only Iran but also many members of NAM that are denied the peaceful uses of nuclear technology by some of the NPT nuclear-weapon states and their allies through the mechanisms of export controls and other denial arrangements. In 1995, they adopted the so-called “Iran clause” under which they agreed to deny nuclear technology to Iran in any circumstances.

“You can then understand, why Iran after being denied nuclear technology in violation of the NPT, had no other option but to rely on indigenous efforts with precaution on full transparency and we succeeded in developing our nuclear technology. Iran is a nuclear fuel cycle technology holder, a capability which is exclusively for peaceful purposes.

“The Leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei has issued the Fatwa that the production, stockpiling and use of nuclear weapons are forbidden under Islam and that the Islamic Republic of Iran shall never acquire these weapons. President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who took office just recently, in his inaugural address reiterated that his government is against weapons of mass destruction and will only pursue nuclear activities in the peaceful domain. The leadership of Iran has pledged at the highest level that Iran will remain a non-nuclear-weapon state party to the NPT and has placed the entire scope of its nuclear activities under IAEA safeguards and additional protocol, in addition to undertaking voluntary transparency measures with the agency that have even gone beyond the requirements of the agency’s safeguard system.

There are enough reasons to give Iran the authority to enrich Uranium as they please.
Even if it was to enrich Uranium for nuclear weapons, as a seeker of equality, I can only say that it’s fair that they get their own little toys.

When the US and other major nuclear power will start dismantling their nuclear warheads to produce energy to solve the energy crisis then Iran’s actions can be questioned.
A society free of nuclear weapons should be the type of society we should be supporting.
There is no reason for nuclear powers to keep their warheads. Various energy facilities, such as Atomic Energy of Canada transform warheads to energy.
More countires should follow the example of Canada. While being a leader in civilian and medical nuclear technology, Canada has decided to not develop any type of nuclear weapons.

“Canada, we believe, is uniquely qualified to lead, as the first State capable of developing nuclear weapons to decide not to do so, later as the first State to divest itself of nuclear weapons, and finally as a leader in the 1995 extension of the nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty and a key player in the Ottawa Process which highlighted the need for creative diplomacy with respect to security and arms control. Despite its technical aspects, the challenge of moving toward the prohibition of nuclear weapons remains fundamentally political and moral. The Committee is convinced that Canada has the vision, talent and credibility to play a leading role in finally ending the nuclear threat overhanging humanity.”