This guy.

I don’t see the point of raising a child from scratch. I’d have to clean diapers, pick up after it, and impart all of my knowledge. And as a lazy communist, I simply can’t be bothered.

So instead, I’m adopting this guy.

He’s 19, and his name is Ralfawnz. He’s just graduated highschool with honours, and next year he’s going to Queen’s University in Kingston. He’s already paid his tuition in full by working over the summers, which makes my life so much easier.

So instead of starting from scratch, or adopting a young kid who’ll resent you all of their life, and be angry with you even though you’re not the one who abandoned them… Adopt a kid that’ll make you a proud parent.

Who ever walked behind anyone to freedom? If we can’t go hand in hand, I don’t want to go.

- Hazel Scott (1920-1981)

So the US decided to outsource jobs because it was cheaper to slave drive Indians and such. But what I heard on CNN made me laugh to tears.

So after the industry, the Vatican church has decided to pull their hands out of children’s pants to OUTSOURCE PRAYERS. Given that it seemed to be out of this world, I had to check facts. Maybe I didn’t understand things right. CHECK IT OUT. Of course the best part is saving costs and being able to get your prayers realized for less money and give a higher profit margin to the North American clergy. HAHAHA. Don’t forget to donate next time you go to church. It seems that God has a price tag nowadays and entries to Heaven are limited. I actually hold a limited of tickets and I am willing to put them to auction on E-bay because surely as a communist I am going to hell and I don’t need them tickets.

Next they will outsource their president, now that would be a smart idea.

I’m excited to report that I’ve finally managed to become pregnant. I realized something was up a week ago when I started barfing everywhere for no apparent reason, and I hadn’t gotten my period in over five months. Awesome.

So it turns out I’m a little over five and a half months pregnant. I’ve already spoken to my husband, and he’s agreed that I can raise my child to be as communist as I like. I’ve started working on a list of exercises and programs to indoctrinate my child into Marxist philosophy and the communist way of life. Here’s the daily schedule I’ve set out. Let me know what you think:

1) Rigourous physical training every morning, beginning at 0500 and going until 0600. While the child is still a baby, training will include hand-eye co-ordination exercises, stretching, and being dunked underwater for prolonged periods of time. As the baby grows into a toddler, training will be conducted as per the Navy Seals fitness testing standard, which will include long-distance runs, push-ups, sit-ups, chin-ups, and an excessive number of DEEP KNEE-BENDS.

2) From 0600 to 0630 the child will have breakfast, which will inexplicably mix citrus and dairy products into a vile and stomach churning combination. 0630-to 0700 will be spent taking a huge diarhea shit.

3) From 0700 to 0800 the child will be required to perform self-discipline exercises, which will include standing at attention for up to 45 minutes, and adopting numerous stress positions. While the child is a baby, this hour will be spent teaching the baby to change its own diapers (which will be re-usable and washed in a large washbasin that the child must also clean out everyday).

4) From 0800 to 1130 the child will participate in lectures on Marxist philosophy and living the communist life. Tests will be administered weekly, however, no punishment will be doled out for failure. Instead, when the child recieves a failing grade, they will be informed that they are preparing to place a larger burden on society. They will then be ordered to cry for an hour. Failure to cry will result in another round of DEEP KNEE-BEND exercises.

5) From 1130 to 1300 is lunch. It is also time to hang out with the family and perform household chores, which will include knitting, sewing, farming, and blacksmithing. While the child is still a baby, this time will be spent eating lunch and then taking a short nap, which at 1300, will be rudely interrupted by the sounds of war played on a 1976 Sanyo record player.

6) From 1300 to 1630 the child will carry on with general knowledge lessons and practical skill classes.

7) From 1630 to 1800 is dinner and time to relax. Dinner will include large amounts of scone and bologna, and when the child asks why, they will be rebuked with the words “carry on”. Failure to comply will be met with a forcefeeding of scone and bologna.

From 1800 to 1900 the child will watch national and local news on the CBC. While the child is still a baby, this time will be spent with the infant in front of a TV where they will be forced to watch Soviet propaganda for an hour. All images and audio of George Strombolopolous will be filtered out by a special anti George Strombolopolous V-Chip type device.

9) 1900 to 2000 will be spent learning to play the clarinet.

10) 2000 is bedtime. The child will bathe, tuck themselves in, and tell its parents “Good night, comrade”. Failure to carry out proper bedtime drills will result in the child being kept awake late enough to watch re-runs of Frasier.

Yay!

Now most of you have recently read or heard about the 2002 attacks that were unfoiled by the vigilent US defense team. What is surprising is that we hear about it now… 4 years later. And what’s even funnier is that the mayor of LA hears about it now!!! Now, it is interesting times that this comes at. Now most brainless monkeys will watch this and say ohhh SHOE BOMBS. They were going to get through to the cockpit with shoe bombs!!! Now that’s in 2002, a year after the 2001 attacks. Now i am not too sure how many people travelled between the States and Canada, but I happened to have done so and if someone managed to bring a shoe bomb on board at that time then bravo! Now let’s leave that aside and concentrate on something even more hilarious. Well apparently to carry this attack on, Al-Qaeda was supposed to use Chinese Men… Now, that’s very very funny, why would Chinese Men want to carry attacks on for Al-Qaeda, an afghan based group? Now for the first time I will generalize something about a group of people and I think Americans gave the world the right to do so by electing a dumb ass for president, most americans will believe this story, because a large majority of americans are not very bright and somewhat anti-social!!! I noticed this in Germany as we had an American in the group and he got labelled as anti-social the first night and it was a very diverse group with an Australian, Canadian, English, French, German, Swedish… Maybe it’s that arrogance or that belief of being better than everyone else? I am not too sure but one thing is certain is that the hate is increasing and some love it because they will raking in the money soon.

www.cbc.ca is running this article entitled “Fewer women tapped for Harper cabinet“.

Apparently the Conservative government won’t have many women “tapped” as cabinet ministers.

Except for this chick. She’s getting tapped for obvious reasons.

This chick, however, is not getting tapped… again, for obvious reasons…

I had a dream that my fiance, her daughter and I, all went to an Ontario Hockey League game.

Every power play was announced as a “Home Depot power play” or “Winston’s Men’s Wear power play”.

The first period was “brought to you by Telus Mobility”, and an announcer handed out prizes, courtesy of Canadian Tire, Wendy’s, and Mr. Lube.

During the second period, my future step-daughter and her Novice hockey team from a nearby small town got to play a “Tim Horton’s mini-game”, which lasted 6 whole minutes. The team was split in half - one half wearing red Tim Horton’s jerseys, the others wearing white…

In the third period there were quite a few penalties, and as such, quite a few more “Winston’s Men’s Wear power plays”.

Instead of having simply “three stars” at the end of the game, there was “The Source: Circuit City’s three stars”.

Nobody at the game woke up. They all just got in their cars and went home.

But it sure was nice of Tim Horton’s to give my little girl the chance to play on OHL ice with that big Tim Horton’s logo on her shirt.

While the Christian army housewives blog, their stupidity divide people.
People have been conditionned to be polarized.
Trying to class everything as left or right.
The people are being blinded and left in their illusions.
The freedom of speech that americans are so found of blinds them.
It is a disease that is spreading around the world and blinding all of us. Making us the perfect sheeps to consume and be usefull for a little fraction of the world.
At the international level the sheeps are thirld world countires, and developping countries.
At the national level, it is the people.
Freedom of speech is useless if you spread negativism.
Freedom of speech should not be put in the hand of ignorants.
Freedom of speech does not make democracy.
We are all comrades and we should work together to build a better society for each other. Not fight against each other.
How do our opinions matter in building a better society and working together to share the wealth and build a better world where each one of us could enjoy life equally ?
While people are being put against each other corprations are making record profits.

Shell annoucned $22bn record profit for a UK listed company. That is more than the revenue of a country like Argentina.
Exxon did better: $33bn. A record profit for a corporation. That is almost the revenue of country like New Zealand or Kuwait…

A company like Shell operates in more than 140 countries.
Imagine $50bn used for infrastrucutres in Africa, education worldwide…

You can let coporations like Shell making profit on your back or choose to improve your and other’s life…
Only YOU can choose which one is the best choice.