I went to the 8th floor of the office building where this company has its “suite”. I basically just walked in with my Tim Hortons coffee in hand and introduced myself to the secretary. We spoke briefly and I gambled on a different approach. I told her I was just there because one of their employees had invited me to see what the job was about, which was true. Then I said, “But if this is for an interview then that’s ok, and if not that’s fine too.” This would pay off later.

The heart of business in Canada…

The waiting room was full of interviewees sweating it out, all dressed up and looking nervous as hell. I sat there and read a book and drank my coffee. I spoke to a couple of the candidates who were all going for their second or third interview. These were people who wanted to do this as a career. I honestly did not give a shit. I know this makes me sound cool, but it’s true. I’m happy working in the Army Reserves and volunteering practically full time at an elementary school as a teacher’s aide.
It wasn’t long before I was invited into the main office area. I was introduced to the manager, also known as “the secretary” whom I’d spoken to when I first arrived. Due to how awesomely good looking I am and how I obviously looked like I didn’t give a shit, I was given the job on the spot. I am not kidding. They told me straight up, “we’re going to bypass the whole interview process and today you’re going to go out with [name] and start training right away.” As I walked out of the main offices and back into the waiting area I told all the schmucks waiting for interviews that they could “suck my balls you guys”, while giving them the finger. One guy tried to get up and start shit with me, but I just judo-tripped him and that was the end of that.
My trainer and I went out into the corporate world wearing the uniform of the capitalist world: The business suit. Today we were going to liase with some small business owners on behalf of a large Canadian television service/phone/internet provider.

I lasted about an hour.

My trainer joked with me about how the company bore no allegiance to any large corporation (like the one we were working for today for example) or small business. We were simply to sell the thing we were paid to sell, by whomever could pay us the most to sell it. If we sold the service of one large media corporation to a small business, the next month we could be back at the same small business selling the same thing on behalf of another large media corporation. I thought I could handle it. After all, I knew that the object of all of this was to whore myself out for as much money as possible.
My trainer told me he didn’t “twist arms” and that he wasn’t up for “strong arming people” into a sale. Bullshit. If what he did wasn’t arm twisting I suppose that when people talk about arm twisting, they mean it literally. This was high pressure sales. His language was dressed to conceal blatant lies. He would tell me, ” I save people money” by selling them a product or service that is cheaper than the one offered by a competitor. I’m sorry, but you don’t save people money by selling them something. Nonetheless, this is how he justified his work, and this is how he got the satisfaction of feeling like he was doing a good thing for society.
Every sale situation made me literally sick to my stomach. I felt empty. I was supposed to see these people as an opportunity to earn some money, but all I saw were their emotions: Their uncomfortableness, their honesty, their trust, their shyness, their vulnerability, their feeling as if they were being looked at as mere objects. It was heartbreaking.
When I couldn’t take it anymore I told my trainer, “No” and that I didn’t want to do it. I don’t know what he was thinking at this point, but he then attempted to sell me the job. I realized then that I wasn’t talking to a human being, but a salesperson, a completely different species. When he realized I wasn’t at all interested he backtracked and tried to tell me that I wasn’t good enough for the job. “We’re looking for people who are determined, career minded; who want to go out and get it!” As if I’m not any of these things. You don’t have to have a degree in political science and sociology, be personable, professional, or have leadership and management skills to be in sales. There is only one requirement: You have to be retarded.
You have to cloak your lies in language that makes you feel like you’re doing something valuable. You’re not making people pay, you’re “saving them money”! You’re not working for any particular company, you’re merely trying to “make sure that small businesses are only being charged small business rates”. I have a huge moral objection to the whole thing. My trainer didn’t understand this. I wonder if he actually believed that I wasn’t “cut out for it”, as opposed to my objecting on moral, and to some extent spiritual grounds.
When I say that I objected for spiritual reasons, I mean that it made me feel less human. It required me to see people only in light of their potential to create wealth for a company, and in turn, for me. It required me to ignore my ability to read their emotions and concentrate on making them accept something that does not benefit them in any way. If acting this way does not require a change in spiritual outlook, then I don’t know what does.

At one point we walked past an elementary school where the kids were out at recess. It made me miss the kids in my class, and and I wanted to drop everything I was doing and go back to my volunteer job, which obviously makes me no money, but is a hundred times more meaningful than selling shit to people. I teach kids to be real humans.

So, after I quit, my trainer and I were walking back to the office tower, and up above we spotted window washers rappelling down on little wooden seats. My trainer tried to tell me how much that seemed like a shitty job, but I could only shake my head. I envied those guys up there. Their job was so simple. It couldn’t possibly hurt anyone. You get to be high above the suits and ties. And the only thing you treat as an object is the thing that is, in actual fact, an object; a non-living thing. I would be a window washer any day before putting on that suit.

I felt so gross by the time I got home that I immediately had a shower and put on my Lenin T-shirt.

I can’t sell out after all.

Not that this will be anything surprising to people that know me, but I’ve totally sold out. Tommorrow I have my first suit and tie job interview EVER, and it’s happening in the heart of Canada’s business world. The position is in - get this - sales, marketing, and promotion. I’m the biggest slut to capitalism I know.
But I still have over half a year before going back to school, and I need the money. So tommorrow I’m going to spread my legs and take it like a man. I already know I’m going to get the job because I’m so damned smart and good looking, so the only thing I have to figure out is how long I’m going to stay. I figure I have about a month before they figure out I’m a communist planning to sabotage their whole organization.

suiting up to sell my soul…

If you made a dinner date your best bet is to stock up on food now and eat at home on Friday… Maybe watch some CSI… The chicks dig a guy who sticks to his political beliefs even though he told her he’d take her out to a restaurant where they made reservations a week ago and she bought a new dress for the occasion.

I’m so lonely.

That’s right. On November 11th God and his right hand man, Jesus, took centre stage at Remembrance Day parades and ceremonies across Canada.
I’m a bit late in writing this because I was actually taking a course in Meaford and on Remembrance Day I was one of many soldiers sent out onto the Bruce Peninsula to participate in various parades in small communities.
The longest speech was held by a priest. It was all about God, and how the deceased soldiers were now all with God and his best pal, Jesus. He led the villagers, soldiers, vets and legion members in prayer to his Christian Lord. Then children sang Christian songs. Then we were all supposed to sing Christian songs. More talk about God followed.
Forget that many Canadians who fought and died were not Christian at all. There were athiests, Jews, Natives who held traditional beliefs, etc. Remembrance Day got hijacked by Christians. With the amount of God talk that went on, if you had replaced the word “God” with “Allah”, and the word “Jesus” with “Mohammed” we’d be having a good old fashioned fundamentalist Islamic a la Iranian Revolution get-together .

What’s the solution?

Obviously we want to continue to honour those Christian Canadians who fought and died, but perhaps the public Remembrance Day parade is not the place for this. They could have their own functions at churches while the municipalities organized non-religious parades, which would of course be the ones where serving military members would participate. After all, last time I checked I worked for the state, which is separate from the church.

Going from country to country, getting to know people I learned one thing about the Canadian society. One major aspect that may be the key to Communism.
Canadians tend to be in general more positive and constructive. Not everyone of course. There are always the morons with the “this suck” attitude. Criticizing anything they can, spreading violent/agressive behaviour… staining “society” with a bad karma and making everything worse. Taking a look at the case of France, it is that same attitude, from both sides that created the vicious circle of riots/repressions. Even though the riots are gone, I think there is more bitterness than ever.
Nonetheless, it may be -30degrees Celcius, and the PM may or may not be in some fishy story … they still don’t care. It is not that they don’t “care”, more than they are positive about it. Well it’s snowing ? In 11months summer will be there !
The PM may have stolen some money ? Good thing that he got discovered … would it had been in another country we would have not know much about it…

Let’s face it, every country has “bad cops”, “corrupted politicians”, and “doctors who never seem to know what is wrong with us”, the only difference that makes Canada a great place to live is that people are more social. There is a greater community spirit. Instead of cultural assimilation we can talk of cultural diversity.
So let’s keep the non violent history, and a peacefull spirit. If Canada progress socialy the way it is, and it does not follow the US model it will be a lot easier task to move to Communism !
For this to happen, …
Make wise use of the health care system. Abuse it and you will loose it.
Do not damage goverment property… it is your property, if you damage it, you, the taxpayer will pay for it.
Act responsibily and spread good rather than hate and violence.
Don’t spread clichés, if you do so make sure you do it to somone who is smart and will understand it is a cliché.
If you are a goverment worker make good use of the taxpayer money.
I was walking around with some cds I had borrowed from the library… when I got back home, I realized I lost one of them…
A few days later … I told that I had lost the cd to the librarian… But apparently the cd was checked in…. a good soul did the effort to not just throw away the cd, keep it for himself/herself and go to the library and give back the cd.
Anyways you got the picture ! So go ahead and act like a Canadian !

So here we are, awaiting the verdict of Georgio’s second nomination for a supreme court judge. I am sure just about everyone has heard the hullabulah, starring douchebag George, and the rest of the douches in the White Hole, with respect to the nominations. Aside from all the bickering, does anyone spot the bigger issue here? Here we have one of the biggest douchebags to ever sit in the Oval Potty, nominating judges who will hold office for life. Score a big, ONE, for democracy, folks! In keeping with Gods plan for America, George should naturally get to pick which States can vote in the next election. Naturally, I am thinking they should enforce a custom, where Bush does the Hitler salute to the nominee, after being initiated to the court.

Bush’s visit down in South America has a great and important significance for the movement for the people. Now I find it funny that Bush said that the choice for the South American was between a government that could provide for its people and one that could not. Now if we look at the States, it is evident that he meant for the South Americans to pick something not even remotely close to that strategy. Brazil will play an important role in determining the next step for the future of South America. By standing against this free trade agreement, they will be able to expand on a potential “social” success. The best of all of this is the “fair and free” trade that Bush promotes. Canada can be the first to witness the “fairness” of trading with the States. I certainely firmly hope that the leaders of South America will make the right move for their people.

I was reading about the summit of Americas and the aspirations of the United States to expand their slave empire a little longer. You have to give the man credit for his dedication. Until Zoro presented him to me, I had no real interest in him. He is however taking over where the revolution started by the Che stopped. Maybe with his push the South American countries will take upon his views and do something good. He is showing the true ideology of a communism government by helping the surrounding countries get back on track with sharing the resources and EDUCATING. Education is key to success but unfortunatelly hard to access.

Giving a shit about Gomery Inquiry more difficult than ever

Despite all the media attention devoted to the Gomery inquiry, the sad fact remains: Canadians still don’t give a shit about Canadian politics. It makes blogging about Canada particularly difficult. We don’t run off to war on false pretenses. We don’t have a president (or Prime Minister) that says anything half as stupid as anything that comes out of George Bush’s mouth. Our Prime Minister has never gotten his cock sucked in his office. There’s no spy game intrigue. No nunchuck battles in the backbenches of the House of Commons. Nothing.

But in the past couple of days, since the release of the Gomery Inquiry’s first report, the amount of “Breaking News” would make you think Canadians give a shit. But we don’t. And you want to know why? Because the Gomery Inquiry is simply about our Liberal government wasting money. And since when is that something new?

I’ve been trying to focus more on Canadian politics here, but it’s so hard. When I say to myself, “I’m going to write about Canadian politics now”, I go into a deep coma for weeks. My roomate finds me in my room after a few days because he can smell that I’ve involuntarily caca-poo pood and pee peed all over the place.

Sometimes I have crazy war dreams, and George Bush is in them, and there’s fire, and floods, and fighting, and everything is going crazy… Then the other night I had a dream about Stephen Harper. We were in his volvo, and he was educating me on the finer points of the Progressive-Conservative and Reform merger in Canada. I performed seppuku right there.

Canadian Blogger preferring seppuku to Canadian politics…